But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
