it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
