I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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