it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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