We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Randomize
