He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
