i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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