I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
