ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
