can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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