ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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