Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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