btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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