glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
