Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
