I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
