i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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