I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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