Just fell off a train. Bad.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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