my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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