Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
