He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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