On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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