Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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