Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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