Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
