So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
