i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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