New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
