The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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