No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
