i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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