some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
