apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do vagina's smell?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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