respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
