I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
