he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize