I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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