i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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