so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize