We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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