roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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