@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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