I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Randomize
