Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Bring me that man meat
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
