just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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