I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
