If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
