remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
