he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
