you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
