I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
