I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
