oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Verdict: uncircumcised.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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