I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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