You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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