WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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