Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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