i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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