i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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