White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
