I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
