The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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