I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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