Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
